An old journal from years ago.

Your life of drama has been a distraction…

The main lesson of everything within this existence is the exercising of Willpower towards the highest version of self imaginable. Becoming that what you wish or feel yourself to be. The Doctor is always talking how I am the healthiest of us all and I am all like,

“whoa brah, do you know how many cigarettes I smoke?” How many beers I drink? How much coffee I drink?”

He sees the highest potential in me already fulfilled. I can become that, but I must Will myself there, despite all resistance.

resistance apotheosis

Some noticeable resistances are:

    1. It’s not tough, manly
    2. Its cheesy
    3. I can’t handle my energy when I don’t smoke, I feel to “freaky”
    4. It’s too hard! It is so much easier to wallow in my own anger and sorrow!
    5. Oh my, but what will others think?

Insert any other pathetic excuse here.

Weak Will

When looked at, my excuses are complete nonsense. I may go ahead and be ballsy and say most, if not all, of the excuses we give ourselves for not being what we feel like being at any moment… is bullshit.

What can be more manly than one who does and becomes what he needs to be in any situation? A high ideal is to harness the skill of mastering control over one’s mind and to not be influenced by any perceived negativity or resistance.

To be free, but only from the ultimate control from your Self, of yourself. Free from self-censorship and expressing your greatest joy and happiness. 

Well now, there goes that cheesiness. Why is there a connotation of cheesiness in words like “joy”, “happiness”, ”love” and “compassion”? (or is it just me.? It may just be me…)

These words seem to be a double-edged sword. Most people regard these attributes as ideal and beautiful and yet, at the same time, because of the idealism or our messed up modern culture, people treat them as unrealistic and unattainable. 

Words that may help you feel good but have no true existence. Again, in comparison to the  possible paths and ways of being life has, if one truly realizes and applies these concepts to their interface with themselves, as an overlay for their normal perception of things, what could happen?

How/why is it cheesy to see and admit to yourself you are not totally who you want to be; to see oneself as split, fractured.

One aspect of self is from the physical body. The temporal personality we call ego seems to be what this body and brain created from its assemblage of the experiences and choices it has gone through. 

The other being the greater aspect, the higher mind, the aspect of self that can override the brains thoughts. The internal one that says “I don’t want to think that, I will change it to this!” and so shall it be. 

The brain might fight back and bring back the old thoughts, but that is just because, for now, the brain is a much stronger pull for our attention. (You can read more on this split here.)

We haven’t been taught to control our thoughts, so our thoughts control us.

The many excuses and justifications the brain gives for keeping us in these cycles of thought are pretty cheesy, all truth be told. I mean, just look at that list! What silliness!

Why do we let this petty, silly entity rule over our lives and tell us how we should be? It only knows what others have told it to know. I need to take back my power and clean my temple. That was something else that came up today, the health of our body and its influence on our nervous system or the interfacing unit for Spirit into the manifest vehicle.

Home Power change Health Will

Exercise of Will

How does one work on their willpower? One way is to “force” yourself to be more compassionate and caring. My teacher is sick, I can increase my compassion towards him for his betterment. 

“But I don’t want too! I got my own long list of things that need doing!”, screams the ego. 

You do it anyways and brush that resistance to the side. The brushing aside of unhelpful thoughts is the “force” of will. Anytime you go against the dictates of mind, you exercise your will and, just like any exercise, the more you do the stronger it becomes.

The next way seems to be to “force” ourselves to act with grace and compassion. It is so easy to be sarcastic, judgmental, cocky or negative, sloppy, clumsy, mood swingy, bitchy and the like. Strength comes in the things that take effort to become. That effort strengthens you and makes you more influential as a willful creator. 

This is pretty simple. Be nice, caring and an all-around decent human being and forget the bitching mind. Does the mental bitching solve anything or make things better? Does the mental resistance to whatever “bad” situation that arises in your life change anything or make things go more smoothly? 


No, it tends to just make everything worse and harder to handle, making your life harder and more painful. 

Mental resistance and defiance towards situations is self-created magnification of potential pain from a mental translation of an experience, into a “problem.”

Resistance is futile! Resistance is futile! 

Additionally, we have very little control of events in life. The only thing we can potentially truly control… is ourselves. Controlling how we react or respond to situations presented to us. 

That. Is. it.

Even some popular fads are exercises in will in disguise. 

Dieting has been a thing in its many forms and shapes for quite some years now and any success gotten from a diet is begotten from the amount of focused will you put into it, or discipline.

Having the desire to make yourself healthier and “willing” yourself to withstand any coercion to do things to the contrary towards your perception of health. An exercise harnessing the discipline to stick to this new envisioned self, and will yourself to become what you envision. The exercise is there for the nurturing of one’s will.

Now, since all these exercises have to do with willful exertion of discipline, what could be a powerful life circumstance to create the perfect environment for the harnessing of one’s willpower. 


Addiction, The Revealer of Will

The knowledge gained by this life situation is great! You get to see yourself, or, rather, you get to see your mind at its worst and lowest. For it is the mind and only the mind that one with addiction is trying to run from.

When face-to-face with one’s own self-generated depression and the slow realization that the only way to truly get out of it, without the use of other drugs (which doesn’t really cure anything), is by taking back control of one’s thoughts towards themselves. To change how they look at things and to realize that it was always a choice. Now, due to a debilitating addiction, your very life depends on you figuring out your own power, harnessing your will and using it to change yourself and thus, your life.

We can take all these examples and put it into a spiritual ideal. Because, it would seem, most religious teachings are actually aimed at finding the (will)power buried within us. These books and stories of God men were really just depicting ideals for us to strive to become, at least as much alike as we cared to. Stories of men that figured it out and tried to teach it to the people. 

The religions that came after is the misshapen corpse of the original idea; void of any life now. But the message is their; To strive, with use of will, to be the greatest expression of who we wish to be as we can. “Be the change you wish to see in the world” is a tough thing to actualize, but with all these aforementioned exercises combined together, you develop the potential of true power; the control of your willing of an intention into reality. Put the effort and strife of life back into regaining your power.

You will not be disappointed.

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